Today I saw fireworks.
There are some teachers who set out on the National Boards journey and complete all 4 components in one year and certify right away. I am not one of those teachers. I did this piece by piece, taking the longest amount of time possible—the full 5 years. I passed each component the first time, but my overall score wasn’t high enough, so I did 2 components over again.
Five years. My daughter was in kindergarten when I began this process, and now she’s a fifth grader.
I am the tortoise, not the hare. I am a dreamer, someone who stares out windows. I love to write, but I found the dryness of National Boards writing painful sometimes. There were so many times along the way when I said I wish I could just write a personal essay instead. So, here’s a mini personal essay.
When I began my first school library class, way back in 2008 at the University of Vermont, the instructor asked us to think about what we remembered about our elementary school library. We went around and talked about our experiences. Some people described warm and fuzzy memories of very sweet libraries and welcoming librarians. Others spoke about sterile environments and shushing librarians. When it was my turn to speak, I had to admit that my rural elementary school did not have a library. Instead, a bookmobile came every so often. I don’t think the driver had any formal library training. He had a Billy Ray mullet, and I don’t remember him ever actually speaking to us. The bookmobile smelled of moldy books, and I’m pretty sure the selection was terrible, but I looked forward to it anyway.
I work in an elementary school library now. When older students come back and walk through the space, they often tell me about the amazing puppet shows the former librarian put on. Apparently they were elaborate and wonderful. Sometimes I wonder, what will my current students remember about their library experiences? Will the memories be warm and fuzzy? I certainly hope they’ll have fond memories of the library. I hope they’ll connect their elementary library experiences with building a love of reading and learning.
I had a mentor my very first year of teaching who once told me that she could do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back. (Side note to any teacher reading this: never say that to a beginning teacher. That’s ridiculous, and she probably should have retired that year.) When I started on the National Boards process I thought of her. I wondered if that’s how I would feel if I ever earned National Boards, so extremely confident in my ability as a teacher that I could say I could do my job with my eyes closed and only one hand. Now that I can add NBCT to my email signature, do I really feel like that? Of course not. I will go to school on Monday and I will still struggle with classroom management. I will still plan lessons that are successful and lessons that flop. I will still go to my district Media Coordinators meeting every month and feel like my colleagues are doing way more amazing things than I am. I will continue to examine my teaching practice and try to do better each day. I will carry with me the grit I gained on this long National Boards journey to help me do the next hard thing, whatever that may be. It was such a long road, but I’m glad I stuck it out.